That's love

Love... the deepest emotion in life, laying warm foundations for the richest form of human relationships. That beautiful mental and physical connection, that much sought after utter unity. That genuine joy in life putting a smile on your face...

Until recently authors, poets and philosophers wrote about love, depicting romantic love as a whirlwind of emotions, passion, fear and jealousy. An exact definition of love is very hard to accomplish. 

The simplest definition could be Robert Heinlein's in the cult classic Stranger in a strange land: love is the condition in which the other's happiness is essential to your own.

Scientific research on the subject has grown tremendously over the last decades. It revealed the importance of love in child development and adult health. The first relationship with the mother is a blueprint for the following ones. Severely psychologically or emotionally damaged people are unable to experience healthy, independent love. 

Psychologists and scientists study the subject of love pragmatically, defining it as an intense affection or preference for someone, so strong that it colors one's perception and conduct. 

According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield love can be divided into two basic types: compassionate and passionate love. 
The compassionate type is characterized by attachment, affection and trust. Usually developed out of feelings of mutual respect and understanding, this type assures an enduring relationship whereas the intense emotions, anxiety and sexual attraction of passionate love are transitory, usually lasting between six and thirty months. 

A good, lively relationship is based on trust and intimacy. 
Genuine loving intimacy depends on the personal ideas on love and the notion that love develops. Intimacy is characterized by the elements of 
care, share, trust, commitment, honesty, empathy and tenderness. 

Reciprocal care or the intensity of positive feelings towards each other is only to be found when two people openly share positive and negative feelings, thoughts, desires and needs with each other and interact. This frankness in sharing is essential for intimacy's growth in a warm enduring relationship. Trust, honesty and empathy are indispensable ingredients in this process of self revelation. 
Caring, sharing and trust lead to commitment. Verbal and physical expressions of tenderness are the most neglected aspects of intimacy.

Masters & Johnson (on sex and human loving 1982) explained that respect enables us to appreciate the other's identity, essential for the long duration of a relationship. Sexuality is another important factor to keep a relationship lively and fascinating. 

In The art of loving(1956) Erich Fromm wrote that love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. 
Love is an art, just as living is. It requires effort and knowledge.
Fromm believed that self-realization is a necessary condition to attain meaningful love. He defined mature love as a union of two individuals keeping their integrity and individuality. Become one and stay two.  

Why do we love? 
Because love makes sense. 
Because it brings out the best in us. 

That's love..
Article written by Ann Timmermans

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Transcending the limits of thought

Creativity is not restricted to its artistic interpretation. Basically it is the mental activity of problem solving. When problems become challenges new effective solutions can result from an experimentally thinking creative mind. Creative behaviour requires a certain amount of intelligence. Knowledge broadens the creative mind's views, extends the possibilities to connect ideas and concepts in one's mind. 
Divergent thinking tests( as opposed to IQ tests) measure creativity. Divergent thinking is the ability to think along many paths to generate solutions to a problem.( Guilford & Hoepfner 1971)


Creativity surpasses that one great thought or view as thinking up new ideas is insufficient, ideas need to be reviewed, altered, tested, adapted. Remembering new ideas as soon as they arise and challenging ourselves with though problems to solve, essential skills for creative expression, leads to new behaviour and innovative ideas. 


The creative process is long and complex. With the utmost exertion, patience, hard work and perseverance one might succeed in inventing an exceptional previously unknown solution.


Theresa Amabile( Amabile 1989, Amabile, Hennessey & Grossman 1971) identified 3 components necessary for creativity: expertise in the field of endeavour, creative skills such as persistency at problem solving and the ability to break mental sets, taking risks and the motivation to pursue creative production for intrinsic( internal) rewards such as satisfaction. 
A genuine creator engages in the creative process without expecting tangible pay off for the undertaken actions, external rewards deter creativity! 


Creative people share traits of self-confidence, ambition and perseverance(inner concentration). Inquisitiveness( being susceptible to external stimuli) distinguishes creative people from others.
In addition they are less conforming to societal and other norms and are more likely to take risks( Martindale 1989) .
According to Carl Rogers fully functioning, self realized individuals are highly creative. Characterized by an openness to new experiences these flexible, spontaneous, non conformist personalities never cease to evolve, to grow. Not pending approval of others, they easily face traumatic changes.


Your potential is infinite, be wise, visualize, witness it. Why waste your time focussing your mind on limp shit? Do what you like!




Article written by Ann Timmermans